American society is obsessed with treating kids like a bunch of bichon frises and teaching them that “Everyone’s a winner!” Winning, for many, is a meaningless, subjective decision, rather than an ironclad achievement. That’s old news. What’s new is how concurrently cutthroat the real world has become as we’ve rendered our youth forever-cherubs.

A few examples: There are more college grads on the hunt for high-paying jobs than at any other time in American history. The housing markets in cities like Denver, New York and San Francisco are increasingly vicious and tough to navigate. Getting your kid into a good school in Manhattan is like mediating the Oslo Accords. We don’t need to summon Charles Darwin in a seance to find out that life is competition.

And there are never eight winners.