When #MeToo comes for a man you love

It’s easy to be an advocate when it’s someone else being accused. But what Borders, Dunham and Avenatti found is that it gets much tougher when the alleged perpetrator is someone you care about. The instinct to defend the people they like, and casually destroy those they don’t, is one outspoken advocates like these three should curb.

It’s why we have due process in the first place. We aren’t supposed to automatically believe or disbelieve someone, precisely because our own personal biases can get in the way. When the alleged victim is someone we like, we are more apt to believe them. When the accused is someone close to us, it gets much easier to believe that the alleged victim is lying.

We are at a time when the mere whiff of an accusation can destroy someone’s career. Comedian Aziz Ansari, who was mostly accused of being bad at hooking up, still hasn’t recovered from the nothingburger accusation leveled against him. The plea to be more careful and to let the process play out is not anti-woman.

It’s pro-justice.

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