Millennials aren’t breaking traditions. They’re just broke.

Millennials are a murderous bunch, a generation of homicidal maniacs.

At least that’s the impression you get from reading news stories about my generation.

According to the headlines, we’ve wreaked carnage across the economy with our fickle, selfish tastes. So far we have “killed” or are “killing” dinner dates, hotels, credit cards, grocery stores, cinemas, Home Depot, diamonds, banks, gyms, department stores, vacations, cruises and casinos, the car industry, homeownership and even Buffalo Wild Wings.

The explanations for our butchery are manifold, and sometimes contradictory.

Sometimes we’re a bunch of hipster brats who don’t appreciate the tried-and-true cultural milestones of middle-class adulthood. We spend all our time snapping selfies in our parents’ basements. That means we don’t need cars to get around, nor do we want them. To today’s youngsters, “driving simply doesn’t seem as cool as it once was,” one Fortune magazine article proclaimed.