Bereft of actual, self-designated gladiators, progressives are searching for someone to end this hallucinatory episode of American politics. At the outset of the administration, Democrats may have believed that warrior to be Ivanka Trump, who willfully cultivated the image of a change agent, weighing in on issues including women’s empowerment and climate change, anathemas to her father’s administration.

“Ivanka wanted power,” said one well-sourced White House reporter I spoke with, speaking on condition of anonymity. “She suggested she and Jared would be change agents, and they knew they never would be. But Melania has done none of that.”

Regarding the myriad theories about Melania’s plight, this reporter said, “[Democrats] want Melania to be the crippling agent, but she’s not going to do that. Her main priority is her child, not vengeance on Donald Trump that saves the Republic. There is Trump Derangement Syndrome—and it’s real.”