Here are some jokes that I think Mr. Trump could have pulled off. All of them come from a position of intimidation. Most are at the expense of others. And none are directed at Vladimir Putin.

• I’m in fantastic shape … and it’s not just my doctor who says that. Ask anyone who works for me.

• I have two daughters. Ivanka and the other one.

• We’ve had some turnover in the White House. And I admit I miss The Mooch. I miss Hope Hicks. I miss John Kelly. (beat) Oh, he’s still here? (then) For now.