The last navel-gazing thinkpiece you ever need to read on quitting Twitter

Let me count the ways life is better in a post-Twitter world:

You’re free from the hive mind. I recently re-read “A Wrinkle in Time,” and I’m not going to lie, you could find worse stand-ins for the churning, conformist IT than Twitter dot com. I’m serious! It completely warps reality!

Twitter somehow gets very smart people to focus obsessively on news stories that will mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things in two weeks, or possibly even two days. It fosters intricate debates about topics that normal people would find completely absurd. Because it is highly addictive and trains your brain to crave new information every minute, Twitter is also the kingdom of irrelevant minutae. On Twitter, groupthink thrives.

Back in my Twitterized days, I recall explaining to someone that being on Twitter was practically a job requirement for media people, much like a Bloomberg machine is essential to someone who works in finance. “Heather,” my friend said, “Bloomberg machines help people make actual money, and they cost $25,000 a year. Twitter just wastes a colossal amount of time. And I know it doesn’t make you any money.” Ha ha! Touche!