Against office dogs

When I’m working, I don’t want a dog anywhere near me. In fact, I prefer to not be around dogs at all. If I see one on the sidewalk coming my way, I make a beeline for the other side of the street to avoid any interaction whatsoever. This reaction is rooted in my childhood: An unfortunate incident with an Irish Wolfhound when I was about 7 years old left me with a slight dog phobia. When I was 10 I spent an entire afternoon on top of a kitchen table because a family friend’s Jack Russell puppy wouldn’t stop yelping at me. I have since desensitized myself somewhat, but if I have a choice between spending time with a dog and not, I’ll always choose the latter.

Fear is not the only — or even the biggest — reason I don’t want to share my workspace with a dog. I’m also incredibly allergic to them. Dogs and cats. Both of those small creatures can turn me into a wheezing, sniffling mess in a matter of hours.

So when I see a job advertised as being “pet-friendly” or “dog-friendly,” I want to scream: “What about humans?! Offices are for people, not pets!”