Reminder to newly rich men: No one wants to see your dong

Just keep that simple advice in mind and you’ll be well on your way. Before we go, a brief Q & A to recap what we’ve just discussed:

Q: I’d like to have sex with my co-worker, but she’s not showing me the same level of interest. Should I pull out my dick, sweeten the deal a bit?

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A: No, you should definitely not do that. Pulling out one’s penis without any sort of encouragement is not only a deal-breaker, but it has also literally never been a deal-maker. Nobody has ever been glad they saw someone’s penis in hindsight. “I had no interest in him whatsoever, but when he got me alone, locked the door and pulled his penis out, I was like ‘Wow, that looks great — let’s do this’” is a statement that has never been uttered in the history of humanity. Yours will not be the penis that ends that streak.

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