Or put another way, Apple’s revenue alone, last year, amounted to 72 percent of the cost of all individual tax cuts in the Republicans’ $1.5 trillion plan. According to the bipartisan Committee for A Responsible Federal Budget—Remember responsible budgets? Don’t worry if you don’t, neither does former deficit hawk Paul Ryan—only roughly $300 billion of the $1.5 trillion purported tax cut is due individual taxpayers. The rest goes to business tax cuts ($1 trillion) and repeal of the estate tax ($200 billion). If you’re a multinational corporation whose obscenely rich parents just died, you’re in the money!

Even when I abstained from voting for them (which I have for three out of the last four national elections), I am that breed of Republican who endured all manner of Republican inanities—misdirected foreign adventures, ill-advised government shutdowns, Sarah Palin—reasoning that no matter how inept Republicans were (very, it turns out), at least they didn’t pick my pockets, unlike Democrats. So I patiently endured eight years of Barack Obama hiking tobacco taxes, and Medicare payroll taxes, and indoor tanning service taxes, among many others. Only to emerge from that tunnel of darkness to see a unified Republican government touch the one thing Obama didn’t touch: federal income taxes. My own faux-populist party is now hiking taxes for me, and many millions of others, in the name of their hilariously billed “tax relief” plan.