Which brings us to the second lesson from the Wilde case: We definitely should not assume the endurance of a bad behavior indicates that society tacitly approves.
Victorians disapproved of Wilde’s sex life, and Wilde was certainly aware of their disapproval, as well as the laws that forbid it. Yet he didn’t desist; in fact, he flaunted the taboo with increasing defiance, and yet for years no one moved to exclude him from society, much less arrest him. While moral outrage creates a hunger for justice, it also creates a countervailing pressure on people close to the transgressor to cover up, lest they be tainted by the transgression.
Every society is going to have those who knowingly, perhaps even joyfully, break its rules. And this is the problem with phrases like “rape culture” and “teach men not to …”, which imply that transgression would stop if only society disapproved enough. Society already disapproves. We did teach men not to … . They know.
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