If Gottman were to watch a discussion between politically opposing Twitter accounts in America today, he might predict trouble in our future. American civics was once defined by a determination to never let our differences prevent us from working toward the common good. Today, we seem resolved to savor no victory unsalted by the tears of our enemies. Too many on the Left and Right are as invested in the failure of their opponents as the success of their own ideals. This stems from contempt.

The ongoing health care debacle is just a symptom of this disease. Like partners in a dysfunctional marriage, we have lost the ability to discuss almost anything of importance with one another—the metaphorical “household finances” or “how to raise the children”—without assuming the worst about one another, calling names, and in some cases, becoming violent. As a democratic republic, it should terrify us that contempt plays such a significant role in the emotional signature of our political discourse.