White nationalists—and many other young men—want social approval and sexual fulfillment, but not the responsibility these require. They lack the emotional tools to coexist with people they don’t understand. Then when they sense rejection, they lash out even more. Their problem is not unrealized sexuality, but unrealized humanity. The bottom line is that these men—and our world writ large—have lost sight of what it means to be men. The conflation of sexual success with male identity does nothing to bring it into focus.

As Cox so eloquently observes, “this futile attempt to reduce the mysterium tremendum of the sexual fails to solve the problem of being a man. For sexuality is the basic form of all human relationships, and therein lies its terror and its power.”

Stunted emotional growth does not excuse the evil ideology the alt-right spouts. However, their failure to build meaningful emotional relationships with women adds to the isolation and rejection they already feel. With no healthy expectations for their masculinity, they’ll continue to harness their efforts on violence against those that reject them. And what is violence against the weak but a terrible misuse of man’s God-given responsibility and strength?