If the idea of your child growing up to be an overgrown toddler doesn’t sell you on getting your kids to help out, maybe this will: According to etiquette expert April Masini, “kids who do chores gain a sense of self-esteem that comes with success.” Ask any parent what he or she wants for her kid and chances are she’ll say confidence and self-esteem. Save your money on all the child psychiatry, folks: All you need is to get your kids more familiar with the cleaning supplies.

Honestly, parents, I think some of the fault lies with us. I know it’s easier to just do it yourself — heck, I hate how long it takes my kids to “make” their beds — but I have enough on my plate without adding their chores to the list. I know our kids are overscheduled and stressed, but parents are, too. It’s not right for moms to do it all in addition to everything else — work, parenting, cooking, cleaning, shopping, bill-paying — when we are already exhausted ourselves. Let the kids do it their way, and thank them for it. They’ll eventually take pride in their work, feel good about themselves, and maybe even offer to help without having to be asked five million times.

There’s been an unexpected bonus to having my kids help with the chores: We’re spending quality time together while we do mundane things. Instead of constantly wishing that my kids would occupy themselves long enough for me to do a load of laundry, I enlist their help with sorting the socks and actually get a chance to talk with them. Yes, they often act silly, and sometimes I do have to check their sorting techniques, but I get a lot more time being a “present” parent and they’re finding the joy in daily tasks. Plus it makes me feel good to know that I’m building their self-confidence, helping them grow up to be more successful adults, and (hopefully) ensuring they’re not going to be living in my basement when they’re 35.