This past weekend our great nation once again sat back and rooted for injuries on the far ends of both sides of the political spectrum, as Tax Day protestors clashed with pro-Trump supporters in theda Starbucks-ridden, gentrified urban wastelands of Berkeley, again.

Your challengers? On the left: the black-masked, hoodie-clad, spoke-roach brigade of “Antifa”: a far left, anarchist, communist “whateverist” campus movement hellbent on proving Trump right about everything. On the right: Alt-Right memelord weekend warrior Trump supporters in batting cage helmets and American flag capes, arriving to do battle, while most likely lying to their wives that they were just stepping out to Home Depot for a bit.

Fists were thrown; America’s leading Mindset Expert was gently fondled; tear gas was dispersed and Pepsi offered. News helicopters captured footage of Antifa and the Pepe Army playing Red Rover with what must have been a super-entitled dumpster that needed to check its privilege.