In the first weeks of Donald Trump’s presidency, his relationship with his wife Melania, the First Lady of the United States, has been under constant scrutiny. It started on inauguration day, when a gif of Melania grinning widely and then immediately frowning went viral. Some even speculated Melania was perhaps trapped in an abusive relationship. #FreeMelania trended and protesters at the Women’s March wrote the phrase on their signs. In reaction to a slew of appearances from the new President and First lady, two camps emerged—those arguing that Melania needs help, and those arguing she’s actually her own person and doesn’t require your sympathy.

Of course, no one knows what the interior of the Trumps’ love life looks like. But what’s become incredibly obvious is the stark difference between the way the Trumps handle their affection in public, and the way Barack and Michelle Obama handled theirs.