Still, even if the president-elect sees no need for an image boost, it may help him to have a friendly animal around.

Perhaps most important for Trump, a man who has fixated on trivial slights for decades and constantly describes himself in superlative terms, animals can simultaneously boost self-esteem and keep ego in check. They love unconditionally, forgive unreservedly and always behave honestly. Animals don’t care whether you spent the last year maligning or humiliating your opponents, or whether your opponents embarrassed and degraded you. It makes no difference to them whether you are the leader of the free world or you’ve never been a leader at all.

To them, we are just larger animals who know how to open the refrigerator.

So, Mr. President-elect: For your own good, the good of your administration, and the good of the nation, please get a puppy.