Then he talked about his son’s diagnosis: Asperger’s syndrome, a neurological disease on the autism spectrum. As a young child, Nick flapped his arms a lot. At 3, he barely spoke. As an adult, he still cannot tie his shoes, making it all the more impressive that he has achieved so much.

Then the dad added one more item to his son’s resume: Nick is a convicted felon, a sex offender on the registry. He was found guilty of possession of child pornography. “That does not in any way dilute my feelings and respect for who Nick is as a person,” said the dad.

And maybe that’s something the rest of us have to digest.

What the dad has learned the hardest way possible is that many of the people charged with possession of child porn turn out to be people with developmental disabilities. One study found it’s actually the majority, which is not totally surprising. These are people who have often grown up bullied and despised. The differences affect their lives in other ways, too, including the age of the people they relate to. If you’re 20 or 30 but part of you feels about 8 or 10 or 14, it’s not that surprising that that’s the age you’d like to see pictures of. You may not even understand it’s wrong.