* No gaining weight on the job (we’ll take some “before” pictures when you start to use later as evidence)

* Must be open to public humiliation and open-press workouts if you do gain weight on the job

* A willingness to evaluate other women’s hotness for the boss’ satisfaction is a plus

* Should be proficient in lying about age if the boss thinks you’re too old Working mothers not preferred (the boss finds pumping breast milk disgusting, and worries they’re too focused on their children).

About us: We’re proud to maintain a “fun” and “friendly work environment, where the boss is always available to meet with his employees. Like it or not, he may greet you with a kiss on the lips or grope you under the meeting table.