Please help me remember the children I lost to miscarriage

Every parent who has lost a child carries the memory of his or her child, and many fear their children will be forgotten. But unfortunately, not every loss parent has a way to remember his or her child. Due to the silence surrounding pregnancy and infant loss, too many parents are burdened and alone, with no space to channel their own grief—let alone encourage others to remember.

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As my husband and I shared our losses publicly, we have also been able to give life to our children. We refer to them by their nicknames when talking to friends, we reminisce about my pregnancies, and we honor special days. Often, this is accompanied by tears, but it is also often accompanied by great joy as we have the pleasure of celebrating and remembering our children. But our story is not the norm.

Our culture has a deep need for a space for parents to grieve their children. Countless articles and blog posts have been written over the last few years crying out for the freedom to talk about our children. The subject has been covered over and over again because the silence has been imprisoning families for too long. Inspired by the upcoming film project on this subject, “Don’t Talk About the Baby,” I second them and say: it’s time to talk about the baby.

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