Let’s savor their pain. Imagine yourself coming out of some university where you were reliably liberal and sucked-up to your pinko professors. You nodded eagerly whenever anyone said “global warming,” and you shook your head in horror whenever someone said “Men can’t have babies.” You got a job at some prominent newspaper or mainstream network, dutifully parroting the party line with perfect precision, awaiting the day when you would finally reach a level of power where you could not merely lie about and distort the news, but to actually control the news.

Then, just when you thought you were going to become a Lord of the Fourth Estate, you idiots completely overplayed your hand right when technology gave people an alternative to your old school media monopoly. You pushed us past the point of toleration just as the web created other places for us to go. And now, look at you. You’re nothing. Just a bunch of pompous, boring, nobodies without reputations, without respect, without futures.

We’re laughing at you.

Then Donald Trump comes along and outrages you, but not for what he says or does. Hell, you haven’t seen so many eyeballs turned your way since that unpleasantness with the pumpkin-infused craft ale and trans lifestyle editor at last year’s winter solstice office party. No, Trump outrages you because he thinks you’re a clod and a joke and he mocks you, and no matter what you say, no matter what you do, no matter how much futile fussiness you manage to muster in that concave chest of yours, you can’t dent his popularity.