A handy guide to the new gender pronouns

As with most progressive restrictions on freedom, this one works in only one direction. For example, you can call me an asshole (take a number), and no matter how much that hurts my feelings (none), I can’t bring the force of law to punish you for it. (If I were a member of assholes as a protected class, I could have you clapped in irons.) But if a nine-year-old decides that I must use the pronoun “them” to describe one person, and I screw up, I can get fined, or worse, go to jail?

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Activists demand that we mangle the English language so a very few people will presumably feel more comfortable. How are we supposed to know which pronoun is preferred? Maybe we could use name tags: Hello, my pronoun is _________. That was intended to be a stylistic absurdity, but it turns out they actually make these, in several varieties. Imagine the chatter at the post-conference mixer.

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