Last summer, a black real estate developer and reality television show host — let’s call him Donell Trump — announced his candidacy for president of the United States. A notorious adulterer, Donell Trump has fathered five children with three different wives. Over decades in the media spotlight, he has insulted a slew of women by calling them, among many other slurs, “fat,” “ugly” and “pigs”; he told one female journalist she had “the face of a dog.”

Once the proprietor of a global beauty pageant, whose contestants he routinely demeaned, Donell Trump is obsessed with boasting about his sexual prowess. He joked about the size of his anatomy during a live televised debate and riffed about dating his adult daughter. If Donell Trump’s attitude toward the fairer sex could be distilled into a single sentence, it’s what he told Esquire in 1991: “It really doesn’t matter what [the media] write about you as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.”

Then there’s money. Donell Trump can’t get enough of it. He’s obsessed with ostentatious displays of wealth. Donell Trump constantly exaggerates his personal net worth, and his larger-than-life existence — shiny watches, fast cars, big yachts, massive cribs — resembles that of a rap star. A substantial part of his fortune was made through shady business ventures that took advantage of working-class people, but Donell Trump has no apologies.