Maybe if they took a page out of history and started liquoring up in each other’s general proximity some of that partisan sparring might be laid aside. Those tippling gents back then faced real challenges—immigration, infrastructure, war, extremisms right and left—and managed to pass bills and fund bridges and roads and conduct policy. It wasn’t always right and it wasn’t always pretty, but at least they heard each other out and voted and, by and large, colored within the lines drawn by the Constitution. Maybe our guys should have a little of what they were having.

Besides, we get DC drinking again and what’s the worst that can happen? We end up with a bunch of sloshed Senators. And I can’t for the life of me see how a drunken Charles Grassley would be any worse than a sober one. Who knows? He might even pass a bill, just for the sheer whoopee of it.

And if you feel like raising a glass to ol’ Wilbur Mills, who’s looking less and less like a disgrace these days and more and more like a statesman, I have just the elixir to do it with: the Port Royal Cocktail from, of course, the Junkanoo.