Some say that Donald Trump is an “authoritarian.” But Trump cares nothing about what I do personally. Hillary, on the other hand, cares deeply about what I do personally because she’s a totalitarian. She wants to control what I think, feel, and do, and even what bathroom I want to do it in. Trump may have shrugged his shoulders at the idea of transgender potties, but that’s not the kind of idea that he would ever come up with. He doesn’t care. However, it’s exactly the kind of obnoxious, intrusive idea libfascists like Hillary come up with. Trump just wants to sit around being rich and famous. Hillary wants to improve people like me and forcibly morph us into her neutered vision of the new socialist beta male she’s been dreaming of since she was an embittered last call five at Wellesley.

Trump may be kind of thuggish, but he’ll leave me alone. Hillary’s going to come looking for me, and she’s foolish and clueless enough to push and push until we normals get tired of it and start to push back. I, for one, prefer my country not to be sucked into a second civil war because some former president’s angry wife is playing out a freakish psychodrama revenge fantasy against all the guys who have rejected her, from her father to Bill to those of us male-identifying men who laugh at her cankles. Advantage Trump.

And once in power, who would be checked and balanced? The whole Democratic Party plus all their media pals would be out to lasso Trump Gone Wild. So would the Deep State – the bureaucracy would be eager to passively egress The Donald should he overstep. And they would likely be joined by establishment Republicans who think that fighting liberals “is not who we are.” Should he give them cause, they would impeach Trump in a heartbeat. So even assuming Trump wanted to be a dictator – frankly, a pretty silly notion – he couldn’t be one.