A savvy self-promoter—always playing to the crowd—Trump may be taking his cue from voters. He knows most Americans believe saying “sorry” is for wimps. We are a nation of many virtues, but public or private apologies are not one of them.
Contrition is best left for the confession, not voting booths. Even our justice system has little use for apologies, and even fewer incentives for offering them. And, yet, apologies restore moral balance to relationships and, in some cases, help make lawsuits go away. So much of the rage that swells our crowded court dockets would be better served by someone simply saying, “I’m sorry.”
Under the law, apologies are treated as statements against interest or admissions of fault. Doing the right thing and apologizing gets punished, which is why lawyers discourage their clients from doing so.
Settlement agreements are negotiated without expressions of remorse; indeed, liability is not admitted at all. When apologies are offered (about as rare as a lawyer declining a fee), they are generally mere halfhearted recitals, and therefore morally meaningless. At other times apologies sound like this: “I am sorry that you feel hurt by what I have done,” which isn’t an apology but an accusation—another insult, added to the injury.
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