Poor Hillary. She just can’t seem to catch a break. Recall that in 2008, Hillary lost Iowa not only to a young, fresh, and charming Barack Obama. She also lost, albeit by one point, to the very smarmy John Edwards. This time around, when the stars were allegedly cast her way, a whopping 84 percent of Democratic voters under the age of 30 “Felt the Bern,” pulling for Sanders; Hillary, for her part, dominated the senior demographic.

This has led certain feminists to the verge of a nervous breakdown. Why, the chorus goes, is Bernie cast as the future, while Hillary gets painted as “the establishment”? Hillary Clinton is a woman, didn’t you notice? She is by her very nature oppressed; by definition, she cannot be the establishment. Never mind her questionable treatment of the many women who accused her husband of sexual assault; never mind her current classified e-mail quagmire, in which she may have put national security at risk. She is a woman, America. Everything else is chump change.

On Tuesday, Wendy Davis, another national “feminist icon,” sent out a completely crazed pro-Hillary/post-Iowa tweet. You might remember Davis as the Democratic media darling who got creamed in the last Texas gubernatorial race, and who now serves as a slightly unhinged full-time abortion enthusiast, because today’s feminists don’t seem to choose their icons very well. I won’t quote Davis’s tweet because it contains the f-bomb, but please know it was written in all capital letters, as most rational thoughts are.