Adiche claims we do a disservice to boys by making them feel “they have to be hard”, leaving them with a “very fragile ego” in the process. This process, she argues, does “a much greater disservice to girls, because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of males”.
There may be some truth in that. It’s also my experience that feminism – with it’s trigger warnings and its fundamentalist belief that “we should all be feminists” – is the embodiment of a fragile female ego that is incapable of accepting that anyone else (especially men and boys) should be entitled to the privileged position of being considered vulnerable, sensitive and worthy of protection.
Adiche says she wouldn’t be interested in any man who would feel intimidated by her and rightly so. So why does she expect boys to be interested in a fundamentalist approach to gender politics that is so intimidated by reasoned criticism?
I share Adiche’s belief that the world would be a happier, freer place if girls and boys didn’t face the pressure of gender expectations. That’s why I am a proud non-feminist, because one of the greatest gender expectations currently being placed on men and boys is the suffocating belief they we should all become feminists. Boys should be free to choose for themselves whether they want to say YES or NO to feminism.