I’m so happy that all the passengers in the Republican Party’s presidential-candidate clown car have united against so-called anchor babies. You know: the children born in this country to immigrants, legal or not – children that the United States Constitution calls “citizens” but that the Republican’s aspiring commanders-in-chief have collectively decided are an existential threat to America.

They’re right. We – yep, I’m an anchor baby; more on that in a bit – are helping to expose the GOP’s anxieties by simply existing. Opponents of birthright citizenship are demonizing us as living, breathing reminders of this nation’s failed immigration policies, and find it so easy to do because we’re not gabachos. Nearly all of us are from America’s eternal and modern-day enemies: Red China, the Middle East and Latin America, especially Mexico. And such facts expose what’s really freaking out the right: the destiny of demographics.

From the the ratification of the 14th Amendment to the origins of the term “anchor babies” (used as “anchor children” to slur Vietnamese-American refugees – those immigrants that the GOP nowadays say came to this country the “right” way), to the present-day, birthright citizenship has always been a battlefield for politicians to try to deny citizenship to the latest non-whites clamoring to become American.