Help Wanted: Desperate U.S. political party looking for benevolent dictator. Need outsider who can break some China (so to speak.) Dedication to conservative principles or loyalty to party is unimportant. Opposition to unaffordable spending, unsustainable entitlements or expansions of federal muscle are no longer required. We will give you all the power you need to make America great again.

Donald Trump does not make mistakes, as he is unafraid to tell you: “Every time they say I make a mistake, my poll numbers go up,” he told reporters in Iowa. Trump informs us he does not ask God for forgiveness. After all, God hasn’t asked Trump for the same.

Desperate people do desperate things, however, and the American people despair their country is failing. Many Republican primary voters and caucus goers, meanwhile, believe they need a manly disciplinarian more than another pliable GOP leader. They are tired of their party’s flaccid incrementalism and think only bold action can save their country, teetering on a ledge.