Some people will claim that Trump getting involved in the Republican primaries lowers the tone of this noble process. Good. He’s treating it with the dignity it deserves, which is to say: none. Noble process? Give me a break. Primaries are a pack of morons hacking their own political allies to death and repeating ridiculous and largely fictitious stories about their childhoods for the amusement of late-night comedians.

Sorry, no offence, but it’s true. If you’re going to turn your presidential selection process into a reality show, don’t be surprised when reality stars show up demanding to take part. If you build it, Trump will come. Then he’ll build it again, eleven stories higher, and put his name on it in gold lettering.

When Donald said he wanted Oprah to be his running mate, my little troll heart went “doki-doki,” as they say in Japanophile communities. Trump was doing what trolls do best: packaging an uncomfortable truth in a joke. It wasn’t a statement of fact; it was a statement intended to force your brain into thinking about the spine-tingling reality that in today’s America, Donald Trump and Oprah Winfrey probably could win the nomination and, then, the election together.
Trump-haters have a problem now. Whatever they say, they are only feeding the beast.