Ageing is no longer something that merely happens to women’s faces, hands or bodies. It’s no longer something that we need to fight with just our literal teeth and nails; our crotches also are expected to be fountains of youth. From the inside (hormone treatments and surgery) to the outside (dye kits and skin bleaching), women’s genitalia needs to appear pert and perky – or so suggests dominant culture. It’s interesting to note that while there are myriad products to dye chicks’ pubes, there is no “Just for Men, Pubic Edition”. Similarly, no man is getting testicle lifts – yet.

As personal upkeep has become increasingly prolix – my hippie mom hardly wore mascara and rarely touched a razor to her limbs – so too has it become fraught with expectations, and one of those expectations is that of youth. I wonder, as I age, if there will be an increased expectation that my undoubtedly greyer pubic triangle will maintain a youthful glow. It’s a little alarming to consider, frankly. I’d like to think that Dame Helen Mirren, Julianne Moore or Julie Christie’s pubes, long or short, are their natural hues.