“I just wanna go see Cuba before we ruin it”

Well, you should have planned your trip in 1958 because 56 years of a totalitarian dictatorship has a way of wearing on a country. When Fidel took over, he got everything. The life savings, businesses, homes and belongings of every Cuban citizen that decided to put their human rights ahead of material wealth. Where did it all go? With large swaths of Havana collapsing in on itself, a mortifying international sexual tourism that operates with impunity and an abysmal human rights record— what’s left to ruin?

The follow-up to this comment is usually the arrogant, “I just want to go before there’s a Starbucks on every corner.” What’s so bad about Starbucks? Last I checked, they paid well and provided great benefits for their employees without infringing on anybody’s rights. You know what else Starbucks has? A working toilet and Wi-fi, which is more than I can say for the majority of Cuban homes and institutions. Havana has been a functioning capital city for 500 years, it’ll survive a few coffee shops. Besides, the Cuban people don’t have the time to wait for you to gawk at their misery before “we ruin it.”

“Ooh, the cars, the cigars, the rum”

Take it easy Jay-Z. Put down the cigar, set the daiquiri aside and take that black beret off your head. You look ridiculous.