Perusing the menu of vaginal steam-cleaning services available at Tikkun, I was struck by how many and varied the benefits are claimed to be. In addition to helping with infertility, protecting the uterus from tumors, and simultaneously soothing and strengthening the nervous system, apparently V-Steams also kill intestinal worms. Given that the only plausible mechanism by which steams might accomplish this is by cooking them, that would involve cooking the large intestines, as well. I can’t sign off on that.

I was heartened to see that Tikkun does offer services for LA’s gentlemen, as well. The “A Steam” (I’ll let you guess what the “A” stands for) offers such benefits as clearing lactic acid and improving cardiovascular performance. While I suppose they could, in theory, heat up a fellow’s nether regions enough to get his heart rate significantly elevated, it doesn’t sound like a pleasant way to spend $50.