What if President Obama and the Republicans controlling Congress really did cooperate?

Tax the top 10 percent who accumulate an unconscionable amount of wealth, but also tax the bottom 10 percent who commit an unconscionable amount of crime.

Or, the GOP could agree to higher taxes for the wealthy – if the wealthy are rich, self-loathing liberals who make large contributions to “progressive” causes. Tom Steyer, George and Jonathan Soros and Michael Bloomberg will be taxed at 100% — with a 10% surtax on Bloomberg if he puts salt on his French fries, has a large sugary drink or sneaks a smoke.

If neither of these compromises work, tax pornography. There are about 1.4 trillion searches for “erotic content” per year on Google alone. At $5 a pop — as it were – the national debt would be paid off in 30 months. The tax could be even higher, because what senator or representative from either party wants to go on Face the Nation and argue in favor of cheap porn?

Yes, the porn tax would anger male voters. But what are they going to do, Google “Hillary Clinton”?