California's absurd intervention over dorm-room sex

To say that sex without consent is rape is to state the obvious. But in traditional sexual scripts, consent is usually given through nonverbal cues. Of course this doesn’t mean that people never talk during sex; but there’s a big difference between sweet nothings and mandatory negotiations based on constant awareness that you may be raping your partner if you misread those cues. And “constant” is no exaggeration. Thus, the sexual assault policy at California’s Occidental College states that “individuals choosing to engage in sexual activity must evaluate consent in an ongoing manner” and that consent can be withdrawn through an explicit “no” or “an outward demonstration” of hesitation or uncertainty, in which case “sexual activity must cease immediately and all parties must obtain mutually expressed or clearly stated consent before continuing.” Whether anyone could feel “sexy” under such conditions seems dubious at best.

The feminism of “affirmative consent” is equally dubious. Indeed, this standard arguably strips women of agency in a way that traditional sexual norms never did. In the traditional script, the man initiates while the woman decides where (or whether) to set the limits. Under explicit consent rules, the person taking the lead must also assume much of the responsibility for setting the limits by making sure his partner wants to proceed—while the more passive party cannot be responsible even for making her wishes known without being asked.