But not about me. About her. Namely, she’s worried they’ll think she’s a bad mother.

Obviously nothing could be further from the truth, but while I long ago got over any notion that staying home with my kids makes me less of a man, she still has that nagging voice in her head that yells at her for not making enough time for her children and living up to our society’s expectations of a wife and mother.

She has no interest is being the primary caregiver—just the thought makes her laugh in terror—but she loves our kids more than life itself and hates how much of their lives she’s missing. …

Allie gets visibly angry at people who imply that staying at home with the children isn’t work or that being the primary caregiver makes me “less of a man” than a guy with a paying gig. Whenever these thoughts creep back into my own subconscious, she kindly lets me know I’m an idiot—and then reminds me of all the wonderful experiences I’m giving the kids as well as all the obstacles I encounter on a daily basis, both physical and mental.