It’s no wonder James Bond prefers his martinis “shaken, not stirred.” The man has such a severe drinking problem that he probably suffers from hand tremors that make stirring a cocktail — if not shooting a gun — impossible, say doctors who studied the fictional spy’s drinking habits.

Bond also is at high risk for sexual dysfunction, liver damage, car crashes, stroke and early death, according to findings published Thursday in an annual compendium of quirky medical studies in the British journal BMJ.

The study was done largely in fun, researchers say, but it comes with a serious message: Heavy drinking and a high-functioning life of international espionage, womanizing and stunt driving don’t mix.