Despite the cause of female leadership that Thatcher advanced, women seeking careers in politics and government still face a unique set of barriers, many of them subtle and not all of them intentional, simply due to our gender. I couldn’t help but notice that the world response to former President Ronald Reagan’s passing in 2004 was very different from the vitriol expressed after Thatcher died earlier this year.

I believe this is related to the electorate and chattering classes still not knowing how to view a woman who is “tough.” As the result of Thatcher’s leadership, no one questions that female politicians can be strong and determined. But she also shattered the notion that femininity and toughness could not coexist — a vital combination that many today in American politics misunderstand. Too many people on both sides of the aisle think that if they sound angry and use inflammatory, divisive language, they’re being tough. They’re not; they’re really just being obnoxious. And they are helping to drive the polarization that is seriously harming American politics today.

Thatcher deftly walked a fine line between holding her ground and working with her opponents. She espoused her view on the subject in this way: “If you set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.” Compromise isn’t always bad, but compromising simply for popularity’s sake often is. Thatcher had to face a number of national and global events that did not allow for concession, and her conviction in the face of those situations is an inspiring view of appropriate toughness that we can learn from today.