Why hook-up culture hurts boys too

7. Their dumb behavior isn’t always as dumb as it looks
Take “dibs.” Even something as juvenile-seeming as dibs (that is, one boy calling dibs on hooking up with a girl, as if she were a choice seat on the bus) has a very specific function in male friendships — namely, avoiding conflict — and is subject to an elaborate set of rules that is remarkably consistent among boys of all backgrounds. (You have to make it recognized that you liked a girl first to call dibs, you can’t call dibs if you have no chance with the girl, you can’t call dibs just to annoy your friend, etc.)

8. Though, sometimes it is
The “bro code,” however, can have its dark side, such as when out-of-control behavior by peers ends up left unchecked. An 18-year-old high school student tells the story of a time at a party when he watched some boys get drunk and aggressive with girls, touching and grabbing.

9. Boys do feel conflicted about hookup culture
To go back to the beginning, while we think boys should be thrilled with easy (or at least easier) access to sex, their feelings are more complicated. Boys tell Wiseman intimate stories throughout her book and article. Theirs is the story usually left untold in any look at hookup culture. Wiseman has provided a much-needed corrective.