BILL MAHER: You know, President Obama, to honor a president and an assassination, just today smoked a dude in Pakistan with a drone just to show them where we are. And why not? Because apparently we’re not leaving the region anytime soon. Barry, what happened? I thought we were getting out of Afghanistan.

Well, the news this week is that we’ve struck a security deal to keep troops there till 2024. I know. But Obama said he made a promise to the Afghans. He said, ‘If you like the war you have, you can keep it. Period.’

But, really, 11 more years in Afghanistan? It’s easier to get away from Tom Cruise.

This is what the newspaper said — it said the deal we struck was with the Afghan Council of Elders. What is this, a fucking Lord of the Rings movie? Here’s an idea: Why don’t we stay out of any country that has a Council of Elders. A Council of Elders? What, no word yet from the Tribunal of Elves? Have they weighed in? (HBO’s Real Time, November 22, 2013)