I just don't want kids

Not having kids is saying one big no. No to the same thing over and over and over. So that you can say yes to everything else. I picked one big no and a million little yeses. I didn’t want to have to say no all the time. I’m already such a negative person. Cheerful, but negative.

If you don’t believe me, maybe you will believe Greg. Greg is the man I didn’t have children with. Some women meet a man and think This is the father of my children. I met Greg and thought, Now here’s a man I cannot have kids with.

I thought about having kids, of course. But on a gut level, I just didn’t want to. I thought maybe I should anyway. In fact, maybe I should especially because I didn’t want to. Like the way you should exercise especially when you feel lazy. But having kids especially because I didn’t want to? It didn’t seem like bringing another person onto the earth as a contrary action to my character flaws of selfishness and fear seemed wise. Or fair to the kid.

Plus, I just didn’t want to.