In 2006, the Democratic Party would have viewed the controversy over Kermit Gosnell as an opportunity to show that they are not ideologues on reproductive issues. Taking on Gosnell should not be politically difficult — he’s an unethical (to say the least) doctor who is on trial for killing babies who were born after failed abortion attempts, as well as creating unsafe, unsanitary, and frankly draconian conditions for women at his clinic. In 2013, however, Democrats have largely kept quiet. Some have reiterated the state of the law — of course, killing a child after he or she is born is a crime and should be prosecuted — but the horrors of the Gosnell clinic surely call for more than a passive affirmation of the law. Many Democrats have already expressed openness to abortion restrictions in the abstract, and a majority of Americans support making abortion legal in only a “few” circumstances, or making it illegal entirely. What abortion restriction is easier to support than clear policies on babies who have already been born?

The Democratic Party must decide again whether it wants to end the culture wars or if it now wants to try to win them. Ending the culture wars doesn’t mean pretending we all agree and that the status quo is acceptable to either side. What it does mean is extending goodwill, and yes, grace, to those who disagree with the Democratic position on these issues. It may be good fodder for fundraising emails and targeted paid advertising, but the motivation of most social conservatives is not to oppress women (in fact, a lot of them are women), and suggesting pro-life Americans want to take America back to the Stone Age unnecessarily tells millions of people that today’s America, not to mention the Democratic Party, has no room for them. This type of rhetorical approach is comparable to the strident moralizing that beat up Democrats and divided the country in the last quarter of the 20th century. Ending the culture wars means being able to cross enemy lines when the other side is right, and speaking to the other side’s interests as well as your own whenever possible. Trying to win the culture wars will end up too costly — for our country and for the Democratic Party.