Ban Ki-moon’s histrionics last week were ill-considered and nationalistic, giving Kim the perception that the UN is North Korea’s enemy from the start. This means diplomatic efforts cannot be UN-oriented. As Joel Wit and Jenny Town suggested to President Obama last month, “North Korean leaders have a history of issuing … pronouncements that instantly set policy. So reaching out directly to Kim Jong-un might not be such a bad idea …” Obama should honor his promises of diplomacy and not just call but meet with Kim personally. It suited our short-term political needs to portray this 30-year-old man as a petulant child, as it did to treat his father as a joke, but these pseudo-diplomatic approaches have resulted in a rogue nuclear-armed state courting global conflict, and we would be foolish to continue treating them so hubristically.

Kim Jong-il backed down because of U.S. aid. We’re regularly extorted by enemies and allies alike, and we buy “peace,” seeking endless and largely unaccountable Band-Aid solutions. We need an endgame where we stop supporting dictators, paying tyrants billions for another year of quiet. We must force Kim to liberalize, slowly but surely incentivizing him away from isolation, defusing this island powder keg…

Kim is stuck between a rock and a hard place, but so long as he remains there, the world stands at the verge of destruction. The likelihood is that the Supreme Leader makes a show of magnanimously sparing us his wrath, but unusual indicators suggest this is not your everyday saber-rattling. Korea will not be reunited under Kim, no Chamberlainesque territorial appeasement can be considered, but we have little choice but to return to the negotiating table, understanding that it’s in our enlightened self-interest to help Kim save face. When this crisis ends, America needs a new method of dealing with extortionist dictators, but right now, to prevent unprecedented tragedy, we must give Kim a graceful path out, starting with a meeting.