If an older child is struggling, the possibility of a man downgrading his career to step in (as Anne-Marie Slaughter did) would never even be considered.

That’s not because men don’t want to be there for their families. It’s just that, for all that women struggle with the choices they have, men rarely have such choices at all.

A woman may look for fulfillment in a career, but the man has to focus on taking financial care of his family — whether or not the work is fulfilling. (And, for the record, for most people work is work.)…

The whole phenomenon of women as “equals in the workplace” is still fairly new, so perhaps it’s no wonder that so many of us are setting ourselves up for failure by chasing an impossible “all.” For men, though, the “all” is so unlikely and out of reach that they settle for success, professional and personal, where they find it.