Brecher says his dream from his mid-20s was “to have a family with three children and a dog.” He was married briefly, but it didn’t work out. He’d still love to find a wife, he says, but as a pediatrician, he’s confident he can raise his kids well on his own.

Still, he makes sure the children spend time with women, including his mother and a nurse who baby-sits them.

“If it’s female friends of mine,” Brecher says, “I let them hold Ariel so she can feel the touch of a female, which I believe is different from a male.”

Back in New York, B.J. Holt keeps a photo of a smiling, pregnant woman on a table right by the front door. She’s the surrogate who carried both of his kids. He calls her their “special friend,” and she has already visited twice. Holt says he knows his kids will eventually have questions about their family.