Finally: Chocolate-covered cocaine

After she arrived on a late flight from San Salvador, CBP officers checked the woman’s bag and found “eight chocolate bars, six of which contained a cocaine center” (the other two didn’t even have boring old nougat, just cheap solid chocolate) and six small drink boxes that contained plastic bags filled with cocaine,” according to a press release. As if cheap chocolate and juice boxes hadn’t already tragically addicted generations of American kids.

Not sure who had the idea to cut open a chocolate bar looking for drugs, but CBP Port Director Christopher Hess said in the release that officers are “very good at finding illicit substances concealed in novel ways.” Or they were hungry. Either way, the woman somehow convinced the officers that she was “a legitimate courier,” and she was not charged, though she was put on the next plane back to Central America.