You see, I don’t think we need a vast new government bureaucracy to kill snakes. Heck I think if we created a vast new bureaucracy to kill snakes we would very quickly end up subsidizing people to raise snakes to kill them. But, are you telling me that during a time when unemployment is outrageously high, the government can’t put a bounty on snakes and get results? I don’t know what the right number is but for the sake of argument if we had a hunting season in which you could bring in unlimited number of Burmese pythons for $50 per pound, my hunch is Burmese pythons would be erecting memorials to the great snake genocide of 2012.

Seriously, I need two hands to count the number of cabinet agencies I would shutter. I cringe every time I remember George W. Bush saying that whenever somebody hurts, the government has to move. But when it comes to an invading army of giant snakes, it’s time for the government to get moving.

Faster, please.