The smell of seniors

Entitled: This complex mixture combines the aroma of freshly baked apple pie and sturdy, just-harvested Oklahoma cornstalks to produce an uplifting fragrance that embodies the American spirit and gives rise to the notion that we seniors worked for and earned our Social Security benefits. In addition, the slight hint of naproxen for arthritis, Razadyne for Alzheimer’s and Lucentis for macular degeneration has an underlying subtlety that lets people know what is in store for them, and that everybody will eventually need Medicare. Of course, to keep this perfume real and honest, there also has to be the slight scent of fear that these entitlements might be taken away. This is derived from the sweat of a “tea party” member of Congress.

Power: When we worked, people valued our opinions and were a little intimidated by us. Now, they roll their eyes when we talk. With the combination of the scents of the lion, jaguar and alligator, we will regain that lost power. To that we also added hair follicles from Bill O’Reilly and Alec Baldwin, replicating their complete scents. This potent mixture says, “I am still powerful — and a little crazy.”