It's time to face the truth: Cats are Republicans, dogs are Democrats

Canines want rules and regulations to follow. If you could teach them to read and talk, they’d be carrying Mao’s Little Red Book and citing its verses.

They show little initiative. A dog is not particularly entrepreneurial and would never start a small business. If he did, he’d let you tax it at confiscatory rates — as long as you gave him a treat.

The best you can do with a dog is train him to work on an assembly line, doing the same trick, time after time. He’s a natural proletarian, waiting for his union card to come through.

Dogs will also happily take a government job.