When you’re in a position of reading (and passing judgment on) high volumes of prose, and—by some miracle—a piece of crisp, alive, human prose manages to sparkle through the truckloads of muck, all you can do is throw your hands up in rejoice. And grant the writer her request.

One of the reasons commonly given by parents, politicians, teachers and pundits for taking out five or six figures of debt and postponing employment for four years in college, is to learn how to write well.

Unfortunately, despite the amount of writing you do in college, you’re about as likely to leave there having learned to write clear, compelling prose as you’re likely to leave a kegger with clear mental faculties.